Career Paths, etc.

Well, our little theologians were at it again. I'm going to try my best to remember this whole string, but it was a long one and I'm sure I'll leave some good stuff out. Let's see . . . I think it started when we pulled up to the light at the ramp that leads off Danny Thomas to turn onto Union. As usual, there was a man sitting at the top of the ramp with a "homeless" sign. It was at this same intersection that I'd once given away one of the snack packs we made at church one night for just such an occasion.

Walt: Mommy, do we have some food to give him?

Me: No, we don't have any today. We need to remember to get some more on Sunday night at church.

Walt (rolling down window): I'm sorry, we don't have any food today.

Me (rolling up window): Walt, that was nice, but it's really not a good idea to talk to strangers. You might not always know if they're nice or not nice. You should really let mommy talk if we need to tell him something.

(Though, for the record, the man was very nice, smiled at Walt and said, "That's okay, man.")

This led into a discussion of why we shouldn't talk to strangers, and who a kid should talk to if he needed help. Why, the police, of course.

Adam: I'm going to be a policeman when I grow up.

Walt: I'm going to be a basketball player.

A: Or I might be a preacher, like my daddy.

W: You'll have to learn a lot about God to be a preacher.

A: Yeah.

W: Do you want to be a preacher because your family owns the church?

A: We don't own the church! God owns the church!

W: Is that true, Mommy?

M: Well, yes, kind of. Robert is just kind of the leader of the church, but I guess God really "owns" it.

(Aside: Walt is very into who "owns" everything lately. He was very excited to meet his second restaurant owner last night when we went to Lou's Pizza for dinner.)

W: Does God own it because he lives there?

M: Well, God kind of lives everywhere.

(Somebody help me, please!)

A: Is he in that truck up there?

M: Well . . .

W: You can't see God because he's the invisible Holy Spirit.

A: Yeah, like a ghost. Like ghost Anakin Skywalker or ghost Obi-Wan Kenobi!

So, to answer the burning question in your mind . . . can two preschoolers start a conversation about social justice and bring it back around to Star Wars? Yes!!

Silence Is Not An Option

(prolonged silence)

Walt:  Adam, why aren't we talking about things?

Adam: Meh.

Walt: ADAM.  We always talk about things when we're riding to school.

Adam: What?

Walt:  Adam, we are supposed to talk about things.  What do you want to talk about?

Adam:  We could talk about dinosaurs.

Walt:  No.  I'm not an expert in that anymore.

Adam:  What about Star Wars?

Walt:  I know.  We could talk about Star Wars AND Transformers.

Adam:  Okay.

Walt:  Is Captain Rex a good guy or a bad guy?

Adam:  At first he's a good guy, then he's a bad guy.

And so on and so forth.  Finally, back on track.  And all is right with the world again.

"TRANSFORMER!!!"

George Lucas, I Hope You're Happy

I was five-years old when The Empire Strikes Back was released in theaters almost thirty years ago.  But I still don't have as firm a grasp on the stories and characters of the Star Wars franchise as my two passengers exhibited this morning.  With the help of the Star Wars insert on the outside of Adam's backpack, they methodically marched through each plot line, each major character (and some minor ones I've never heard of) and their favorite types of "light savers" (per Walt) from each episode.  Wow.

Walt: How can Anakin be good then bad and then good again?  How can he keep changing his mind?

Adam: TRANSFORMER!!!

This response, of course, has nothing to do with Walt's question or the topic at hand, but it illustrates the trouble I've had coming up with content for the past few trips to school.  Thanks to Walt's Putty, Walt is able to identify and distinguish a typical pad-mount electrical transformer from the kind that turn into machines and robots and dominates the universe.  Seeing none of the latter during the drive to school, these two floppy-haired, galactic travelers have taken to screaming "TRANSFORMER!!!" directly into my ears every time they see one of the ubiquitous, green boxes.  As you can imagine, this greatly hampers the flow of their conversations and my ability to remember them.  Don't forget, I'm trying to navigate Memphis traffic, listen and remember simultaneously.

I'm waiting for a few more trips before I begin to develop the screenplay, Starformer Wars, Episode 6.5: Revenge of the Clones, or something like that.  Are you listening, George?

Note From the Teacher

From Ms. Merritt:

Today Adam and Walt were debating "Who's more powerful - God or Yoda?" They determined God must be. :-)

Potty Talk

Today's carpool conversation was peppered with talk of the tooth fairy and the tooth pouches they made in CLUE today. Also, something about the plaque monster and spicy toothpaste. But the most eventful conversation went something like this:

W: I think I have to go to the bathroom.

A: You always have to go to the bathroom.

W: Do you know why I always have to go to the bathroom? Because I drink a lot. And what you drink...is really your pee pee.

Me: Walt, we are two minutes from home. Can you hold it?

W: Umm...yeah.

Me: (beginning to narrate our way home so that Walt knows how close we are) We're on Cooper...almost there!

W: Next is Nelson! My pee pee is telling me it wants to come out!

Me: Please tell your pee pee to hold on. We're almost home. Turning on Philadelphia!

W: Oooh....I don't know if I can hold it!

Me: (speeding down my street and abruptly parking the car in front of my house, then jumping in the backseat to undo the buried middle carseat seat belt.) Walt, run to the steps, I'll meet you there! (Then leaving the other two children in the car wondering where mommy went, I ran to the door to unlock it for Walt.)

Walt: WE MADE IT! (and he proceeded doing his necessary duties as I retrieved the other children.)

Fun times, fun times!

Prayer

This is my first post, and it only involves one of the kiddos. Hope I'm not breaking the rules.

This morning, while taking Adam to school, I said a prayer for our week. After the prayer:

Me: Did you know that you can talk to God whenever you want?

Adam: Yes

Me: How do you know that?
Adam: I learned it at church (Mandy, you're redeemed; nothing about storm troopers)

Me: How does God hear everybody at the same time?

Adam: I think he has a lot of ears

Battle of the Titans

A: Who can beat up a giant?

W: Um . . . God?

A: Yeah, and Goliath.

W: And Megatron!

A: Yeah, Megatron!

W: Yeah!

Is that what you're teaching them in Sunday School, Mandy?

Evasive Maneuvers

W: Oh no! What's that?

A: It's a cwash! We can't get through! We have to stop! There are police cars in the road!

W: It's okay! My daddy is a good driver! He'll just go left then right then left again and get us around it! (As I do so.)

A: Oh!

Yes, the entire conversation, as with all conversations this morning, was screamed back and forth from the gaping distance of two feet.

Tuesday Morning Quarterbacks

Walt and Adam immediately broke down Super Bowl XLIV this morning.

Adam: "Yeah. I wanted the Colts to win, but my dad said they didn't win."

Walt: "I wanted them to win, too. They have Peyton Manning. He's a really good player. I really thought he would help them win."

That's pretty much a three-line summary of every sports talk radio show in the country yesterday morning. And I got it in 12 seconds directly from my backseat.

But the real jewel of the drive was Adam's take on what has become the most iconic image of the game, a shot of winning quarterback, Drew Brees, holding his infant son, Baylen, after the game. Being a daddy, I, of course, saw it live because I can stay up late. And CBS was eating it up. I'm sure many of you saw it, but if not, Brees had tears in his eyes; his cuter-than-cute little boy had on protective ear muffs to shield his little ears from all of the post-game noise; Brees is clearly taking it all in, and you can just see him capturing the most awesome mental image of it all for his own sake and that of his son, who will never remember it. Here's a screen cap of the moment:

Here's Adam's take on this moment in response to Walt's position on the Colt's loss even with Peyton Manning:

"Yeah. (He always starts sentences with 'yeah.') And my daddy told me that after the game there was a little boy and he had on headphones and he looked around."

Yeah. One day they'll understand.

Houses Don't Build Themselves

A: Hey Walt, do you remember our plan?

W: What plan?

A: Remember that Abby stole Fluffyduck? We have to get her. Do you have any weapons?

W: Weapons?

A: Yes. We have to have weapons.

Me: What kind of plan are you talking about?

W: We can't tell you.

A: It's a secret.

A: Mom, who woke me up this morning?

Me: Dad did.

A: My dad woke me up to say goodnight.

W: My dad didn't wake me up. He went to Texas.

A: My dad went to Texas!

W: He went to Austin. It's in Texas.

A: Like Austin from Backyardigans.

W: Like Austin, Collier's friend. Collier's my cousin.

A: I have cousins.

W: Are your cousins girls?

A: Yes.

W: My cousins are boys.

W: Did you know that some houses are really, really big? My house is old.

A: Some houses are yucky. My house is old, too.

W: My house is older. Did you know that God made people because houses don't build themselves?

M: Waa...Waa.

W: Why is Micah making that annoying sound?

A: Micah, stop that whining...it's freaking me out! It's freaking me out!

W: There's a koo koo.

A: Oh! I see a koo koo. What's that smell?

W: I think it's my stink bubble.

Permission

Pick up was just as entertaining...only Adam was sour because I let Walt take his carseat and made him sit in Micah's carseat (since Nana had Micah at home and I hadn't yet installed the booster). Then they began to whisper to each other about the fact that they didn't have time to eat snacks in the classroom and Ms. Merritt told them to ask their parents if they could eat them in the car. In a whisper, they argued for several minutes about who should ask me if they could eat their snack. Walt kept whispering, "but Adam, she's your mom. You should ask her." When I finally said "Hey guys, why don't we eat our snacks when we get home." Adam said "how did you know what we were talking about?"

On Star Wars and the NBA Western Conference

That, my friends, is comedy gold. I couldn't get my recorder going fast enough to get the ESPN-worthy breakdown of the Griz game, but I did get some pretty good commentary on the bonus features on Star Wars DVDs for Episodes, let me see if I get this right, 1, 2, 6 and 3. But that's all.

It took them until Peabody Ave to figure out that they had both watched the same game last night. One at home and one at the game. Adam, I'm guessing didn't make it to the end, so he was convinced the Lakers won. Walt who made it to the very end, corrected him with the addition of "And even the Lakers have the best player in the National Basketball Ahs . . . . . (pretty clear he didn't really know the word). Then Walt claimed a vast majority of the credit for the big win, and Adam told him that OJ Mayo was his player and that he couldn't be Walt's favorite, then they decided that he could be both of their favorite.

Mike and Mike would have been proud.

Of course, by the time we got to Cleveland, the conversation had devolved into a series of addition problems, massive amounts of hyperbole ("Hey, look! That building is 2 million miles away AND it's on fire!), and repeated use of the words Koo Koo Head.

That was awesome!